This fellowship of addicts is the only thing that will keep me truly clean. I could probably get clean of drugs. But I doubt I would be living clean. I would still be acting out and using behaviours that lead me back to the inevitable relapse. I have been skirting around the edges and not really working it. Going to meetings but not sharing. Not really, truly connecting. I’ve made connections in the fellowship but I wasn’t connected to them. The more I disconnected from this, the closer I was to connecting to drugs. One meeting a week, where I sit back and don’t share just won’t work. I need to do more for my recovery. It has to come first. It has to balance with life and finding that balance can be difficult. The alternative is much more difficult though. Not only for me but more importantly for those who care for me. I had a service position at a meeting and I neglected it. I’m going to spend a lot of time reading this book. Digesting it’s contents. Getting a sponsor and working the steps. I HAVE TO.