The mind of an addict is a tricky one. It tricks you into thinking you’re doing alright. It tricks you I to thinking you’re not as bad as other addicts. I let mine trick me. I let mine tell me I didn’t need fellowship. Slipping further and further away from the ones I love andContinue reading “Slipped”


The feeling of putting my headphones in. Skates on. Just skating as much negative energy away as possible. Some people jog. Some people lift. So e people swim. There are a million ways to keep active. I skate 🛼

Trying not to slip

I nearly slipped. I may still. I just ordered glass pipes on Amazon. But I cancelled the order. It’s that easy. It’s that easy to order pipes and call a dealer and be back in the cycle of death. Grant me the the serenity.


Sleeping is one of the things I have taken for granted over the years of addiction and hospitality work. I would think nothing of staying awake for days on end. Or working from 7 am untill 2am the next day and doing it all again, every day, for weeks. I have slept so much overContinue reading “Sleep”


My mother is 71 years old today. I’m happy for her. She looks great in her new black skinny jeans and boots. She is about to be whisked away to a party where there will be drink and drugs galore. I’m grateful that I’m not going to be there. I’ve said happy birthday and givenContinue reading “71”


This fellowship of addicts is the only thing that will keep me truly clean. I could probably get clean of drugs. But I doubt I would be living clean. I would still be acting out and using behaviours that lead me back to the inevitable relapse. I have been skirting around the edges and notContinue reading “Fellowship”


It would have been so easy to just sit. Sit and not wash again. Do nothing but read other people’s blogs and sink deeper into depression. I’m not doing that though. I’m up, washed and I’ve eaten. These are all just such normal things but they can become huge mountains to climb. If I letContinue reading “Easy/difficult”


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